headed to Colorado Springs!

I leave Thursday for a weekend orientation in Colorado Springs for this summer...there I will meet the team! and also meet with the leaders and learn more details about what exactly I will be doing this summer...So exciting! Please pray for safe travels, a sweet time of bonding as a new team, and a resounding praise to our God for His good and perfect plan!...Also, my mom is coming with me to visit her friends in the Springs...pray that this would be a blessed time with her, growing our friendship with one another...

I've started reading a few new books recently and have, thus, spent a great deal of time mulling over new thoughts and ideas...fun stuff :)

One of the books began with a straight forward sentence of conviction that has left me with a new prayer for this summer and my life currently: 

"We are a culture that relies on technology over community, a society in which spoken and written words are cheap, easy to come by, and excessive...We are slow to listen, quick to speak, and quick to become angry. The wise man comes to God without saying a word and stands in awe of Him."

When in Latvia the first time, I was convicted of this exact thing. My speech is flowery and excessive, I do not take care to the words I use, and as a result, what I say loses its value. My friend Inna, who is like a sister to me, called me out on this, and after this I began to see just how careful the Russian culture is with their words...For instance, the superlatives are reserved, for the most part, for the Divine, for God. Only God is all Holy, all Powerful, all Loving. And yet, I am so quick to say I love this or that, I hate this or that, the words 'sweet, awesome, beautiful, great, amazing, wonderful, aweful, terrible, horrible, etc.' are so quick to leave my mouth that I'm afraid I have exhausted these words, and I truly have devalued these words. 

So, with this in mind, and knowing that, to some, words mean nothing if they are not joined with action, how am I living my life?...Am I living a life that is so captivated by our God that others are left in awe of Him?

This is my prayer for this summer, that I would learn to be cautious, concise, and sincere with my words, and deliberate in my actions...that I would truly be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry and that my life would be marked by humility, gentleness, and love

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."

Colossians 4:2-6

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2

on learning to love...

while praying for this summer, God has been teaching me quite a bit about loving Him and loving others...loving freely and unreservedly...loving as He does.  In this time, a few things have really struck me and I'd like to share a couple of them...

...and excerpt from "My Utmost for His Highest"...'If human love does not carry a man beyond himself, it is not love. If love is always discreet, always wise, always sensible and calculating, never carried beyond itself, it is not love at all. It may be affection, it may be warmth of feeling, but it has not the true nature of love in it. Have I ever been carried away to do something for God not because it was my duty, nor because it was useful, nor because there was anything in it at all beyond the fact that I love Him? Have I ever realized that I can bring to God things which are of value to Him, or am I mooning round the magnitude of His Redemption whilst there are any number of things I might be doing? Not Divine, colossal things which could be recorded as marvellous, but ordinary, simple human things which will give evidence to God that I am abandoned to Him? Have I ever produced in the heart of the Lord Jesus what Mary of Bethany produced? There are times when it seems as if God watches to see if we will give Him the abandoned tokens of how genuinely we do love Him. Abandon to God is of more value than personal holiness. Personal holiness focuses the eyes on our own whiteness; we are greatly concerned about the way we walk and talk and look, fearful lest we offend Him. Perfect love casts out all that when once we are abandoned to God. We have to get rid of this notion- "Am I of any use?" and make up our minds that we are not, and we may be near the truth. It is never a question of being of use, but of being of value to God Himself. When we are abandoned to God, He works through us all the time. '

C.S. Lewis quote: "Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to noone... To love is to be vulnerable."

translation of 1 Cor. 13:4-8 from the Russian to English: "Love is long bearing, enduring, and patient, it is full of mercy and grace. Love does not envy, love does not extol itself, it is not proud, it does not err, it is not self-seeking, it is not irritated or annoyed, it does not think of evil, it does not rejoice in untruths and lies, but rejoices with the truth; it is always shielding, always trusting, believing, and having faith in, always hoping, always enduring, bearing, and standing. Love is never ceasing."

...the Lord is preparing me for great heartache this summer, but it will be the result of a deep love, the overwhelming, incomprehensible love of our God...so rather than putting up walls in protection of my heart, I give it up and pray for rejoicing in the heartbreak, for His work is good!

the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places...

"LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."--Psalm 16:5-11

The boundary lines have truly fallen for me in pleasant places...Regardless of my resistance to these boundaries and my countless attempts to weave myself around them, God's will is good, pleasing and perfect, and the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. I dare not wish to be elsewhere because God knows me far better than I know myself and He knows what fills my heart with joy, so I can rest assured because He will not abandon me to the grave...

Here's an excerpt from my journal that will allow you a glimpse into the boundary lines that God has been laying out for me...in pleasant places!...

"Lord, how perfect is your timing! Right in the midst of all the uncertainty and the unknown, right as my summer was opened- Darrell and Annette asked me to help lead the girls this summer! Lord, how you know my heart! The same day I prayed for a reigniting of the passion You have given me for the nations, Lord, the same day...you answered that prayer! This same day, You brought rest in being able to drop courses, You made sense of my reluctance to graduate early, You answered prayer, You laid before me an opportunity for challenge and growth, and You filled my soul with unspeakable joy! God, You are good, how intimately You know me- far better than I know myself! And now, I pray for continued clarity, confidence in Your will, and preparation for a summer of leading and learning- Lord, there are many fears in leading, so I pray that You would daily break me of myself, that I would lose my pride and stand firm in Your strength, and Lord, that I would know Rest in You..."

the boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places...let us rejoice!

Norway and Latvia...Take Two!

hi all!

So...I'm going back to Norway and Latvia this summer!! and the excitement is barely containable! Over the next three months I'll be updating this blog fairly regularly with new prayer requests as the Lord lays them on my heart; thoughts, fears, and excitements about the summer; and ways the Lord is preparing me, not only for this summer, but also for tomorrow, next semester, and the rest of my life.

Thank you so much for being willing to rejoice with me, and pray with me, for this summer and all that God has in store!